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Today was the first day of a church planting class I'm attending. It's going pretty well, besides the fact I'm super cynical at times and struggle to not allow that to jade all I am learning.
While at dinner, I was asked about our church plant and city. I was also asked an important question about race and the church of the Nazarene. More specifically, where do I see mac and I in the role of racial reconciliation in the larger church since we are in a unique position (white female pastor with a black husband).
It was an interesting question and one I was more than happy to answer. In fact, I've been contemplating a blog post on race for a while (which will still be written, as it relates to our context in Hammond) but I haven't written one for several reasons. The main one being, we'd like to be known for who we are, the skills we have, our love for Jesus and his church, and not be the token representatives of diversity. (We often are the token female pastor and black person at events, thus it seems those are the questions I am always fielding).
We love diversity. We love speaking about the church's need to be more a representation of the kingdom of God where there is no Jew or greek, slave or free, male or female. We find it important to speak up for the oppressed, to advocate for the hurting, and to be a catalyst for forgiveness, reconciliation, and change.
The issue is, all too often while talking about race someone makes a comment like the one that was made tonight "what an asset to your ministry to have a black husband! "
While possibly well meaning, it was implied my marriage is based on what my ministry can gain from my husband's race. That isn't fair to either of us, it's insensitive, and offensive. If they meant God can use our marriage to impact the kingdom, absolutely, he can use everyone's marriage, because God uses everything. However, I married my husband because of who he is, not for some odd ministry benefit (which let's be honest... do you really think being a white woman pastor with a black husband is the ticket to a great ministry job? Really?).
The most interesting part of that comment isn't what was said though, it is the conversation being had around it. I was speaking to the fact that while most churches (in our case they are predominantly white) would be welcoming and kind to a black family, there is a reason churches are still widely separated racially and that is a complete lack of racial sensitivity, understanding, education, and experience.
Case in point, I was just told what an asset my husband's race is to my ministry. It lacked thought, sensitivity, and understanding.
When I confronted it, I was told that I need to be more wise and accommodating to those who still need to change, because I was getting defensive.
While at dinner, I was asked about our church plant and city. I was also asked an important question about race and the church of the Nazarene. More specifically, where do I see mac and I in the role of racial reconciliation in the larger church since we are in a unique position (white female pastor with a black husband).
It was an interesting question and one I was more than happy to answer. In fact, I've been contemplating a blog post on race for a while (which will still be written, as it relates to our context in Hammond) but I haven't written one for several reasons. The main one being, we'd like to be known for who we are, the skills we have, our love for Jesus and his church, and not be the token representatives of diversity. (We often are the token female pastor and black person at events, thus it seems those are the questions I am always fielding).We love diversity. We love speaking about the church's need to be more a representation of the kingdom of God where there is no Jew or greek, slave or free, male or female. We find it important to speak up for the oppressed, to advocate for the hurting, and to be a catalyst for forgiveness, reconciliation, and change.
The issue is, all too often while talking about race someone makes a comment like the one that was made tonight "what an asset to your ministry to have a black husband! "
While possibly well meaning, it was implied my marriage is based on what my ministry can gain from my husband's race. That isn't fair to either of us, it's insensitive, and offensive. If they meant God can use our marriage to impact the kingdom, absolutely, he can use everyone's marriage, because God uses everything. However, I married my husband because of who he is, not for some odd ministry benefit (which let's be honest... do you really think being a white woman pastor with a black husband is the ticket to a great ministry job? Really?).
The most interesting part of that comment isn't what was said though, it is the conversation being had around it. I was speaking to the fact that while most churches (in our case they are predominantly white) would be welcoming and kind to a black family, there is a reason churches are still widely separated racially and that is a complete lack of racial sensitivity, understanding, education, and experience.
Case in point, I was just told what an asset my husband's race is to my ministry. It lacked thought, sensitivity, and understanding.
When I confronted it, I was told that I need to be more wise and accommodating to those who still need to change, because I was getting defensive.
There is no doubt I was a bit defensive. However, for you (white pastor with a white church), it makes sense that you want time, you have that great luxury. Your churches don't seem to be hurting for lack of diversity. Tomorrow isn't impacted for you if you do the hard work of reconciliation or not. For me though, that's my family, my future children, the kids I work with, and my neighbors and friends. It doesn't feel like I can move slow. And while I try to be wise always, it's easy for me to get frustrated and defensive at the pace the church of the Nazarene moves because for me this isn't a philosophy to be flushed out at a workshop, it's my life.
But the reality is, your churches do hurt for the lack of diversity. You're missing out on beautiful lives, stories, love, and grace. The Church hurts when we in our self centeredness forget how those around us may be hurt by our careless words or deeds, and for them, the people we've lost, offended, and hurt there isn't time either.
Mac reminded me how everyone says the church is always one generation away from extinction, thus there isn't time. We must be grace filled, loving, and wise, but if we don't act with some sense of urgency, we're going to miss reaching a whole lot of people who needed us to truly be the kingdom of God to them. A kingdom where there is no Jew or greek, slave or free, male or female.
I pray tonight we speak the hard words, we listen even more deeply than we speak, and that we can be a glimpse of that kingdom that only comes when we truly work together.
Mac reminded me how everyone says the church is always one generation away from extinction, thus there isn't time. We must be grace filled, loving, and wise, but if we don't act with some sense of urgency, we're going to miss reaching a whole lot of people who needed us to truly be the kingdom of God to them. A kingdom where there is no Jew or greek, slave or free, male or female.
I pray tonight we speak the hard words, we listen even more deeply than we speak, and that we can be a glimpse of that kingdom that only comes when we truly work together.
This is a picture of mac being an asset to my ministry. He's fixing the church lock, which was incredibly helpful to me, since I'm not great at that stuff.
