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This is my annual pastor's report, originally submitted and presented at the 2016 Northwest Indiana District Assembly. This year we were asked to speak of our personal discipleship journey. It wasn't hard to speak of mine; the holiest thing I did this year was get healthy. It is my hope and prayer that my story and journey of health encourages others, pastors and laity alike, to take control of their health, and find the freedom, joy, and holiness that comes from making healthier decisions.
Flight attendants learned something about holiness years ago, that many of us pastors are still struggling to grasp; you have to put your oxygen mask on yourself, before you can put it on those around you.
I for one, had it backwards. I’d tell you it was because that’s our responsibility as Christians to put others first, whatever the expense or cost, or that my time was so consumed by the pastoral responsibilities to care for myself that I just didn’t. Those would be lies, and lies I most often told myself. The real reason was pride, and a self-inflicted martyrdom. A way to tell everyone how I was struggling in the trenches, fighting the good fight, to pat myself on the back as a good busy pastor with my priorities straight.
When I went to my annual checkup last May and stepped on the scale in the doctor’s office to see a number higher than I had ever seen before, my heart was met with a deep conviction. After a diagnosis of polycystic ovarian syndrome, that conviction deepened.
left: February 2015 Right: February 2016
PCOS is called by doctors as “diabetes of the ovaries”. An insulin disorder that results in an excess release of estrogen, which results in the creation of cysts in your ovaries. Among other issues, PCOS comes with a 50% chance of getting diabetes and a drastically heightened risk for ovarian cancer. Despite it being a chronic illness, the symptoms can be almost eradicated if controlled through diet and exercise and maintaining a healthy weight.
A decision had to be made. Continue on in the destructive patterns of eating and exercise (or lack of) that I was on, plunging deeper into obesity, most likely get diabetes some day and potentially have bigger problems. I chose to put my oxygen mask on first.
I radically changed my diet with the help of a registered dietitian, and started running. I went from being unable to run a city block those first few weeks last May, to running a 5k in September. I began to have more energy. My PCOS symptoms lessened. In 11 months, I have lost over 30 pounds, and have more energy at 31 years old than I did at 25. I went from running a city block, to a 5k, to a 10k, to being able to run 8 miles, in less than a year.
left: first 5k september 2015 right: first 10k April 2016
The moment I decided to put my oxygen mask on first, and care for myself, I became a better pastor and Christian. The energy I have to devote to the people around me, continues to astound me. I find myself able to say yes more often without reluctance. I’m a better wife. I’m a better person. I care for people better, because I take care of myself.
We often think of holiness as prayer and scripture, and we forget that part of it is “whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God.” I can say with confidence that what I eat and drink, and what I do is giving the glory to God in ways it never has before, because I began to view my body as the temple of the Holy Spirit instead of a trash can. I started to treat it as the beloved creation of the creator, and started to think of myself as a steward of this great gift.
Putting the oxygen mask on first, has now truly enabled me to put that mask on others around me. To illustrate holiness in my heart, but also in my life. To glorify God with all that I am, including the precious gift of the only body I have been given. I couldn’t be more grateful for the person I am now. A person who loves others enough, to want to stay around and healthy for a very long time to care for them. I truly believe the best days of health, wholeness, and holiness for myself, my family, our church, and our community, are yet to come, and I now have the energy to be there for all of it.
In health, wholeness, and holiness,
Pastor Robbie Cansler
The Mission Church of the Nazarene
Love the blog and indeed the "mask first" analogy.
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